Tea Party Not Just For Tea Drinkers

A Big Tea Party For Everyone

The announcement was shouted from the rooftops, loud and clear: It’s party Time! Everybody is invited! Refreshments will be provided! There will be free drinks for all! There is but one minor inconvenience: there will be no beer, hard liquor or cider, not even coffee on the table.

The drink of choice will be tea. Tea, with or without sugar, ice cold, hot or tepid, black or red, tea made to make your taste buds rejoice as if you were in an old time brush arbor spiritual revival.

Feel free to bring along any good fruit flavors to add to the mix and savor the moment. Nothing like having a party where everyone’s particular tastes are met.

Since the party is for everyone’s tea-liking taste, why not just call it a Tea Party? Make it ‘The Place Where Everybody Is Somebody.”

Tea -- Oolong, light or dark, black or red, green or white, Hibiscus or Rooibos, even chai and wellness teas -- will be on the serving table. All the blends are sure to quince your thirst at this great American Tea Party.

It should be noted this Tea Party does not have any relationship with The Republic of Tea Company that claims to be the leading purveyor of premium teas. A tea has to be of the greatest quality to have the approval of those who gather around the exalted Tea Party table. Few are elevated to such a status.

Tea leaves are prepared and cured using various methods. Sometimes they are run through hot and boiling water. There will be no boiling water at this Tea Party. The tea is to be ready to consume just like good old Jim Jones Kool Aid. A drink preferred by a variety of less cultivated parties.

The Tea Party we envision is a breed apart. It cares for all kinds of people – even those who do not drink tea. But be sure of one thing: these folks are occasionally opposed to fear-mongering. At an earlier, sparsely attended Tea Party, major time was given to informing Americans there is much to fear from the Muslim’s Sharia law.

In America today, a scary anti-Muslim sentiment is boiling over in a most ridiculous way. Someone needs to turn down the heat. Ultra-conservatives (who invented the Tea Parties with their heaps of corporate money) are now publicly promoting the notion that Sharia law is going to displace our Supreme Court and do away with our Magna Carter freedoms. It is all a big secret as to how the clandestine Muslims are going to do this. But do it, they are, say the elders and high priests of the Tea Party. (No names, so as to protect the guilty.)

Islamic law has for centuries kept Muslim government and religion tied together with their own version of Sharia law. It is a guide for devout Muslims. America is not at risk of falling under the sway of Sharia law. We have enough problems keeping the laws we have.

Get over it! No Sharia edicts for America. It will not happen even if Oklahoma’s legislative gurus keep making laws to ban something we don’t even have, and are not in danger of getting.

When I was young there was supposed to be a communist under every bed and around every corner. Never found one. Senator Joe McCarthy was the chief nut job then.

Don’t be afraid of Sharia law, the Tea Party will be on the front lines defending the laws the Founding Fathers who gave their blood, fortunes and estates for democratic law. The Tea Party, after this next big meeting, will have all the facts to show there is no cause for alarm – except for some ancient Islamic edict. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? (For the younger readers: that is the opening line of the radio drama, “The Shadow.”)

If you are going to the Tea Party, remember to bring a brown paper bag lunch. Because nothing nourishing will be served, just the Tea Party’s own mixed-up-tea.